Don’t worry. This picture is NOT the kind of thing I’m talking about.
As much as I love Mad Men, I’m not so much a subscriber to the 1950s “clean the house, brush your hair, apply lipstick and meet your husband at the door with a cocktail” marriage mentality.
What I DO mean is just this: it’s very easy to fall into the habit where you’re so busy when your partner – whether returning from work or a trip to the grocery store – walks into the house, the only greeting that awaits is a faint echoing of the TV in the living room and your fingers tapping on the computer keys on your office.
Or sometimes, a flood of kids at the door, with Mom nowhere to be found (because you’re, understandably, hiding in the bathroom.)
I get it. But relationships, even when there are kids involved, are about more than simply existing together day-to-day and making sure all the offspring make it through each 24-hour period in one piece.
In fact, last week I shared 6 tips for having more sex with your spouse on The Happiest Home. Because yes, sex and parenthood can co-exist, even if it might sometimes take a bit of work.
But if you aren’t quite “beyond baby” enough yet to start thinking about getting busy regularly, at least you can start thinking about ways to start getting a little closer to your partner.
And if during those baby months or years “intimacy” turned into a careless greeting at the door as you passed a kid off or vice-versa (we’ve all been there,) this is an easy way to start building that foundation once again.
Just watch for the car to pull in. And meet at the door.
It’ll take 2-3 minutes, tops, to make a big impact. Because whether your welcome is a simple “hello,” a warm hug, or a long kiss with full-body contact, my guess is it will be a welcome surprise – and might even start spark something…else…for later.
At the very least, it’ll start building a foundation for your partnership being something you do because you want to, because it’s fun, because you love one another and want to be together – instead of feeling like the veritable ships passing in the night, just surviving from one tantrum-and-teething-laden day to the next.
Early parenthood can be so stressful on a marriage. But at some point, we all have the ability to start moving beyond the “baby fog” that can settle over our most important relationship, and begin once again looking for the spark that made it special, exciting, and just-about-the-two-of-you, like the old days.
A return to pre-baby romance won’t happen overnight.
But meeting at the door for that hug or kiss or simple “how was your day?”
It’s a small thing. But it’s a big thing, too, the kind of thing that shows you care and puts you on the right path.
And it’s totally within your power to do it – today.
Will you meet your husband or partner at the door today? Does that make you nervous, excited, or even a little resistant? We’ve all been there. Share your feelings here, or in the Facebook group!
ps: if you aren’t married or partnered, is there a way you can apply this sentiment to another close relationship that’s been a little neglected since you had children?